Ok, so seriously, are the planets in some sort of cosmic alignment that I am not aware of right now because this week has been one of the strangest weeks EVA!!! I am telling you what, the Gods are laughing their asses off at us and having a good ole time whilst almost every single phone call, e-mail, meeting or any sort of interaction with clients ended with a strange look and the phrase "WTF" either leaving my mouth or going through my mind!!! I have seriously considered offing myself with my staple puller no less that three times this week!!!
People have called non-stop for 5 days now, all thinking they are our only clients; ummm, no, sir, in fact we have hundreds of clients and you are NOT the only person that thinks they need something RIGHT NOW!!! Ashley Upstairs (the other partner's secretary...I call her Ashley Upstairs b/c she is named Ashley and is in fact upstairs) even had a woman call in and want us to "take legal action" against some chic for "trying to turn her daughter gay"....ummm, sure thing, lady, we're right on top of that....Excuse, me, Judge, yes, well you see the fact of the matter is that this girl is trying to turn this woman's daughter into a lesbo....needless to say this is NOT a new case we opted to pick up. Have even had some Russian guy come in, drop off a letter and then give me a full bow before turning and exiting the premises...I mean really now, what do you do with that??? Bow back, say thanks...throw up a peace sign....
Even as I am attempting to type this I just had to pick up the phone and speak with a woman that I guarandamntee you I have spoken to at the very least 15 times this week....and no, she does not need anything that is of the caliber or urgency that would warrant even 15 phone calls in one month...every time I see her number pop up on the caller i.d. I just want to run away!!!
If next week starts out the same way....I am relocating to Costa Rica....I'll open up a "satellite office" there!!!! :)
5 comments:
I swear to baby Jesus that if next week is anything like this week was, I am going to do like Jenny in Forrest Gump always wanted to do and turn into a bird!!!!! I seriously wander sometimes if you and I are just making this stuff up, and then I realize that there is no way that we possibly could!
Caller: "Yes, I need to speak to ____."
Me: "He is not here right now. Is there anyway that I can help you?"
Caller: "Well there is a girl at school that is messing with my daughter and I want her to stop."
Me:"Ok has she physically abused your daughter in any way. How is she 'messing' with your daughter?"
Caller: "Well she's trying to turn her gay and I want her to be stopped. How much would ____ charge me to take the case?"
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors...please protect these crazy girls from their crazy clients!!
Gosh Jennifer...why don't you tell us how you really feel? Just kidding!
I think your crazy clients have family that go CV! I talk to those same people every week. Example - last week a lady called me (the college recruiter, not admissions!) to ask me if she took Spanish I and Spanish II would she be guaranteed to be able to speak Spanish. I didn't know how to answer because she could barely speak English, her native tounge was Ebonics!
I hope all the crazies are on Spring Break this week! :)
Beth, call me next time, I am fluent in jive AND ebonics!!!
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